5 Feb 2017

Date 10: The Mate Date

You know 'that' guy, the one whom you always had a soft spot for, this is the story of him. At this point, I'm coming to terms with being single again. The dating looks to be a never-ending string of disappointment, but that's OK because for once the guy who you connect with really well and who you have subconsciously been lining up as your future husband might be single. There could be a window to make a pass at him.

We had first met at university 15 years ago when many of our course modules crossed over. He is blond with green eyes, and always had a cute face, and a girlfriend. He always had a girlfriend. It was only at a New Years party of a mutual friend many years after leaving Uni that our paths crossed again. We had both abandoned our science degrees and moved into the world of photography and pictures. He was far more successful than I was at this time, and his genuine charm and geekiness has ensured that he has continued on the same trajectory, so is now massively more successful. He works on things I could only dream of. On this New Year in question, a bottle of wine down and lots of conversation later, we ended up snogging. It never went anywhere after this. I started a relationship with someone else, he was interested for bit, which meant group socials got strange for a while, and then we lost touch again. Only when we moved to a mile away from each other, in the last year, that we started catching up again.

In the summer I joined our mutual friends on a group trip to see basking sharks in Scotland. Leaping in and out of cold water with a 7mm wetsuit and group of mates catching a glimpse of these awesome giants feeding on plankton would always be a cracking long weekend. I love these mates. Everyone else on the trip was in a couple, so there were the inevitable moments where we were socially forced to hang out slightly more than others on the boat. Typically, we were both in relationships so romance was well off the radar. As the honorary fake boy in a five-person dorm, I was rocking my M&S pajamas and Berghaus fleece. And at no point were any experiences more X-rated than that. In my burgeoning old age, there had been moments where I looked at ‘that guy’ tinkering around with his drone and checking the underwater housing on his camera, like a Howard from Big Bang Theory, and thought I could do this. I could imagine this for the long haul. I could listen to his posh gentle voice and appreciate his sense of joy with camera toys for easily the next 10 years. But, the last time snogging happened, it all got so dreadfully weird and I like the group dynamic.

Fast forward a few months, and here I am, single and at his flat. I got hungry earlier so I've had food. Now, I'm watching him have his uber healthy greens. He's just returned from a long work trip to a far-flung remote and beautiful island with exciting marine life, seeing, filming and experiencing wonderful things. He had a girlfriend before he went, but it hadn't been going well. Maybe he is single now. I’m looking at him with fresh hopes and imagination; “Tell me about your trip?”

“It was one of the most amazing work trips ever, probably because not only was the location amazing, but because I’ve fallen completely in love with one of the assistant producers on the production.”

NOOOOOOO!!!!! This is awful. I’m struggling to pretend I’m thrilled for him.


And for the next hours I listened to how amazing the Oxbridge graduate eight years our junior was, and how magical she made the trip. OMG! His window of singledom had been about a week. As a drove home, I shed a tear for the loss of ‘my husband’. When I told my girlie mates of this development by text, they unanimously and independently texted back. “She sounds like a nob”. So I might have lost ‘my hubby’ but when I’ve clearly been gazumpted by a younger, smarter and probably better looking model, I’ve got mates that will, without hesitation take a low blow and insult the opposition to cheer me up! My cheerleaders! I’m the luckiest girl alive to have great mates.

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