19 Nov 2016

Date 1: The Frenchman

The tall dark stranger sits in the hotel restaurant moving pasta round a bowl.  He is clearly in need of some cheering up. I ask him if he’s English? His looks aren’t lost on me, but that’s not my main motivation. There’s a slim possibility that I might be able to have a conversation with someone. I’ve not had one of those all day. What’s there to loose? “Non – Je suis Francais”. Oh.

We chat, I listen intently – French was my worst subject at school. I don’t really understand him. Living abroad I honed my talent for looking like I know what is going on when I don’t have a clue. He is a computer programmer who wants to learn English. I add him on Facebook, and we go our own ways. In the morning I see him tapping away at his laptop. We talk about the UK with the help of Google maps, and which of the various accents of Britain it might be easier for a Frenchman to understand.

Several weeks later, I am looking at FB. I wonder what ever did happen to that chap I met. Did he ever come to the UK? I message him. He has moved to Birmingham just this week. Brilliant. I will be in Birmingham next week with work so we can meet.

Monday night is Kizomba night. I hadn’t heard of it either, but he was keen and I’ve been to a few Swing dances so how hard could it be pick up some new moves.  Wikipedia says Kizomba is one of the most popular genres of dance and it originated in Angola. It apparently has a slow romantic rhythm and is a cross between African dance and Haitian Kompa. I did my research. This situation had potential. I’d like to make it clear at this point that the object of my desire had absolutely no idea that this was date.

I went dressed to impress. Classy black and teal floral wrap around dress and heels; And plastered in ‘au natural’ makeup, using the look guys describe as, “she never wears makeup”. We’ve all been there when a male friend has said that about a fellow temptress and the phrase, “Seriously dude? Should’ve gone to Specsavers, she is caked,” pops into our minds.

The dance class is at a bar. I’m 10 minutes late. Heels are hard to walk in and I suffer from genetic lateness. True story. I read somewhere late people are more creative. I’ll take that one. As I walk through the door he’s there sitting waiting and he stands. He’s the same as I remember: Handsome, very polite and also really hard to understand. We get a drink and chat before the class starts. He doesn’t know it’s a date.

The class starts. I quickly work out this Haitian/Portuguese/African rhythm is not so straight forward, especially in heels, and my hips really don’t move in that direction. Emergency measures are required. The speedy shoe swap to flat sandals ensues. Elegance is overrated and this chap is very serious about Kizomba. There’s huge pressure to demonstrate improvement.

It’s a usual affair where the men stay in one place and the women cycle round. The idea is that you learn from lots of different dancers. Normally there’s a concept of personal space in paired dancing, but this dance is VERY close. I was wondering at what point when our bodies where pressed against each other and our cheeks an inch apart, my date would realize that I thought he was quite attractive. But he was very focused on the dancing, and he still didn’t know it was a date.

Everyone else knew it was a date. As I rotated down the line, the men asked me about him. “Shhh”, I responded, “he doesn’t know”.

After the class there was free dance time and we stayed and practiced. He considered that skill development was essential given my earlier performance. Romance was not on his mind.

The commentary in my mind registers this is most definitely a rebound attraction, where I've combined all the characteristics of both my new find and my ex into one perfect superman. The mystery is a taller younger yet less eccentric less forgiving version of the Frenchman I knew and loved. I learn quite how forgiving my ex was when I am corrected on my verbal expression. Last summer, I had met my ex’s family and had shamelessly, or I like to think courageously, tried to speak French as much as possible. Now I learn that my pronunciation of 'beaucoup', is closer to 'beau cul'. The subtle difference being that one means 'many/much' and the other means, 'beautiful arse'. God knows what I said to his family!? 

After Kizomba, I was keen to share the delights of Birmingham and chat more, so I took him on a scenic route past the canal. It always looks very beautiful and romantic at night with the light reflecting on the water, and it would be a perfect location for a kiss. But, no this was not to happen. Now, it actually looked like I was terrible at directions as it’s taking an awkwardly long time to get to where our routes were to diverge. It was a path slightly longer than I remembered. Eventually we reach the underpass, with the graffiti on the walls, the unflattering neon light and the distinctive smell of urine. Excellent skills me. This is where we must go our separate ways. I stand close and look up to him. “Do you want me to kiss you?” and I smile-nod. Hoorah. Finally he knows it’s a date. And we have a lovely long kiss!!!


Right on cue, some drunken revelers walk by and shout, “Get a room”. Thanks guys, my hotel is just over there. The Frenchman met me every day for two weeks. He seemed to appreciate a room with a view.

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